I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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