Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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