She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
