we're blogging at a bar
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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