so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize