I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
