dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Randomize
