doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
