Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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