so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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