Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
