Fuck appropriateness.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Why is there bacon in the couch?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
