whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Randomize
