I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
