Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize