party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
