That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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