yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
