Kiss
Puke
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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