FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
