you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
