im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
