I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
