I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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