It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
