what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
