You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
