Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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