I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize