I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Randomize
