My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize