im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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