did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
