and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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