his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
