jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I miss vodka workout Fridays
My ATM looks so different sober.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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