i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
