the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
