i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
