Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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