I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
