two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
