He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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