i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
