If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
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