what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
