You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
