But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
