He kissed a someone with a penis
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
