i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
