My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
