I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
