Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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