i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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