sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
My dick has a subreddit
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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