If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize