the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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