so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize