What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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