bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Why are your pants in the freezer?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
