chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
