Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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