I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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