My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
