Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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