Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
